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sincerelyironicPlayer Information ;
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Characters Played at Singularity: de nadda, fresh meat.
Character Information ;
Name: Jade (Motherfucking) Strider (Esq.)
Name of Canon: Homestuck
Canon/AU/Other Game CR: AU by way of Red Dead Virgo & Violetesence. It's important to note that the two stories are different but I've taken Jade before the clear diverging of the timeline, so fics from both are still applicable.
Reference: Homestuck, Red Dead Virgo, Violetesence
Canon Point: Just after attaining God Tier
Setting: Homestuck is
And murder.
In the beginning four internet friends decide to play a game together. A good-hearted boy, a girl with magic and a sharp wit, an intelligent boy with eye fixtures, and a final tyke from an exotic land far away. Friends who had never met before.
It starts off fun enough, a SIM-like setting allowing the server player to control the environment of the player, with one real 'goal' being given: Build. So they mess around a bit, play with the controls, deploy some items in hilarious comical scenes that involve hitting boys with toilets, and everything is going gre-
Hey what's with this timer counting down?
Suddenly it's a race against a clock to complete the beginning objectives of attaining a few key items before the timer reaches zero - because when it reaches zero, that's the end. Not of the game. As in, in realtime, meteors nuke that player's area of residence. If they haven't transported their home into the game during that time, it's not a 'game over' that's what you need to worry about. Once the chain is started it must be completed, the Server-Player to Player #1 becoming Player #2 as the one who will be Player #3 becomes their Server Player, and so on until the first in can pull in the last.
Seems like a terrible thing, to trigger what is effectively the end of the world, entirely by accident, thanks to a couple kids playing a game. It's cloudy on whether or not the truth of the matter as later discovered is darker or lighter: the game triggered nothing. The meteors were already coming, the end was already upon their world. Playing the game just showed them how much time they had left, and allowed them a chance to escape. A chance they could only succeed at, because the Alpha Timeline demanded it.
The rules of engagement are incredibly simple and yet overwhelmingly impossible. The world is a chessboard and the players must defeat Black. Black always wins against White. Completing this task and several other crazy 100+ hour minigames yields the greatest victory of all, though: Success means creating a new universe, tailor-made to all that you and your other players desire. Your own paradise for you to inhabit. And, as it turns out, that the universe inhabited by the kids had been created in that manner by aliens from another universe, Trolls. Of course, if they had succeeded in winning the game and gaining their reward, why weren't the Trolls running the show on this side of space?
Welp.
That would be because the kids kinda screw up.
As they are told by an outside force within the game itself, failure is common in this game. Game breaking code exploding blue screen of death failure is uncommon, and they unfortunately worked themselves into a no-win glitched scenario.
Paradox space refuses to be anyone's bitch, so while their universe was technically created by the trolls, it had all at once come into being as if it had always been there, running the kids game parallel to the trolls game, more or less. After defeating the final boss, the Trolls turn to take their reward and walk into their new universe when the final boss from the kids' session arrives - a demon of incredible power - almost slaughtering all of them. They just barely escape, hide in a meteor, and proceed to use their amazingly awesome chat program with temporal-busting ability to ... hunt down the kids and troll the shit out of them through their game and even before it. Within their time of speaking with one another enough space/time fuckery occurs that it would give a Time Lord a headache, and the four kids and twelve Trolls become more or less good friends, orchestrating a plan to hopefully yield success for both of them. The kids need to break down the walls between their two sessions, hard reset their own universe, and with any luck jump back in and avoid making the same mistake twice. Admittedly, breaking down the wall will allow their own unstoppable demon final boss to jump into the Trolls session...
Everything is the cause of everything else, and everything is foreordained. So far, anyway.
Personality: Jade Strider is at her core still Jade Harley. She is just Jade Harley if Jade Harley was raised as Dave Strider was, so while her core self is still Jade, she has a lot of Dave's mannerisms and insecurities (try saying that three times fast).
This has basically turned her into a huge paradox in of herself, so it's no real surprise that paradox space seems unable to get enough of her.
Jade is by her nature incredibly sincere. With all of her heart, she wants to help her friends, to save the world, to win this game and make everything better - to the point that it's hard for her to stomach seeing someone she cares about befall and even minor misfortune. If she could see the future she would absolutely meddle, using the prophecy of the clouds to tell her friends what they need to do to try and get the best possible outcome.
Unfortunately Jade Strider is an insomniac and until Jack blew Prospit up, her dreamself remained very stubbornly asleep.
Instead she has time powers, probably the worst thing for her to have at the beginning. Again, she hates to see her friends hurt, and had an INCREDIBLY SHITTY Time Travel teacher (more on that later). So she sees no problem with jumping back and creating a dead timeline to keep her friends from doing something that would result in harm to them. Her teacher's Time Travel advice began with "Bring a shovel", and only went downhill from there. 'Avoid death' was never part of the lesson, everything was instead focused on taking all the misfortune you could upon yourself.
There's probably a limited number of times you can try to bury your own body before you just become desensitized to the whole thing. Jade hit that number some time ago. She lacks any concept of a fear of personal death now. If she dies, it'll just branch off and the alpha will take over and continue on. No big deal. Her raging inferiority complex sometimes thinks that would be better.
Her relationship with Bro was not one based on one-upmanship. She sincerely looked up to him and wanted to catch up with him to be a 'worthy' sibling and make him proud. Her constant success only on the back of multiple failures makes her wonder if she's worthy to be a Strider, or of her brother's time/memory. "He spent so much time trying to make sure I was ready for this, so how could I be this awful?"
At the same time, most of her crazy/reckless stuff she does is because she'll stop and think to herself, "What would Bro do?" and then do the most crazy, reckless, heroic and badass thing she can. Or at least try.
She also tries very hard to be an ironic cool dude like her Bro. Unfortunately she is far too naturally sincere to ever be good at irony, so this ends up with her telling people that a statement is ironic, or something of the like. She kind of stumbles ass-backwards into any coolkid antics, as she is almost painfully uncool. Circling back to paradoxes, what could be more ironic than a purely sincere person trying their hardest to be insincere? Her attempts at mimicking her brother lead her to put on quite a flirtatious dude front, which result in quite a few inappropriate remarks to people of both sexes. Jade sometimes has an inkling of what she's saying, but most of the time she's just parroting. A flirty kinda pervy front hiding the fact that she honestly has no idea how sex works or what the exact differences between boys and girls are. Her parroting is done to well, she ducked ever getting The Talk since it looked like she already knew all this.
She has unlimited unwavering faith, you see, and doesn't need to understand the shit Bro says to believe his cool is unparalleled. Fronting aside, her faith and naivety lead Jade to be an incredibly trusting person. Oh, she got the stranger danger lessons, she just either ignored them or didn't understand them, and was lucky enough to avoid learning any of that the hard way (thus far).
Part of that lack of understanding is that her observational skills are not the best. Pair that with an extremely impulsive streak and you've got a tiny reckless ball of energy. Halfway through listening to instructions she'll get an idea of something fun to do and run off to do just that, completely missing the later clarification that such things are not allowed or permitted. She prefers to learn the rules by actually playing the game rather than reading any kind of guide or rulebook, especially since plans are so apt to falling apart at the worst possible time. Better to have your plan be "Kick in the door and improvise". It's very simple, has two steps, and never fails. In that sense she's also a rather unrepentant rule breaker. If the rules were so important, they should be iron-clad an unbreakable.
It should be obvious by now why Jade is so well-acquainted with failure of the corpse-producing kind.
Abilities, Weaknesses, and Power Limitation Suggestions: Much like irony, while Jade has time-based powers she is unfortunately NOT VERY GOOD AT IT. When it comes to games, Jade is a completionist. Get the cheat guide, find all of the things. All of them. It's far too tempting, then, to have the ability to go back in time and 'redo' something you might have missed, to get a perfect score where none of her friends have to ever get hurt.
As you can imagine, these are a lot of unstable loops, and a lot of broken timelines. Instead of a telephone pole with one or two offshoots that dead-end, the timeline tree looks more like a gnarled dead thing you'd expect to be placed next to some well where some watery chick will crawl out of muttering "SEVEN DAYS".
Physical Abilities - WEAPONS Jade holds quite a few strife cards thanks to her brother's influence. Riflekind and pistolkind have been combined to just make gunkind (gotta save some space in that deck), which is hands down no holds barred her best specialty. Jade's just good with bullets, a natural gunbunny and crackerjack shot. She also has bladekind, owing to Bro's influence as you don't grow up in the Strider household for thirteen years without being at least Level 1 Crazy Competent With A Sword. She's still not as good as Dave is, but she is above average. While she has what may as well be a gymbag full of guns, though, she's only got the one sword. Her brother's, pulled out of his body before she buried him as best she could, and she's only intending to use it on one enemy. The third and perhaps strangest weapon: shovelkind. Her time travel instructor had told her "Bring a shovel" so Jade was in the habit of carrying one, and sometimes when you're out in the field, you don't have time to negotiate a hash map and switch weapons, and it's just easier to swing away with what you have on hand. Needless to say it is about as graceful as fighting with a shovel is.
Magical Abilities - WITCH OF TIME While Dave avoided attaining God Levels, Jade jumped at them and reached them. That means she is basically, well. God Level Time Powers, with the ability to do Basically Whatever She Wants. Needless to say this is gonna have to get nerf'd pretty severely. Considering she's still very new to it she probably won't notice most of them missing, so they'll be listed as their nerf'd form.
Inventory: Here.
Appearance: Jade Strider is a very very late bloomer. Because proper nutrition is for babies and the Puberty Fairy seems to have lost her address, Jade is not just slim but short as well, frequently lending to her being mistaken for a boy of a year or two younger in age. It doesn't help that her posture tends to be on the slouching side, hands shoved in her pockets and steadfastly ignoring the world in favor of grooving to giant-ass headphones.
Like canon Jade her hair is black, though Jade Strider keeps hers short and a bit on the shaggy side as she tends to cut it herself. Her skin is actually pretty tanned thanks to the Texas sun, and she freckles very easily. Taking Dave's place in this universe, her eyes are deep red in color, though she usually keeps them covered by her prescription glasses, which tint into shades.
Age: 13
OC/AU Justification ;
If AU, How is Your Version Different From Canon, and How Will That Come Across?Instead of John Egbert aiming those meteors to start them on their way, it was Rose Egbert. And her aim was not as great as John's. Rose got things a little mixed up, so while Dave and John are both partially related to their guardians even if they went to the 'wrong' ones, Rose and Jade went completely to the wrong places. Rose went to Mr. Dad Egbert, and Jade got sent to Strider Haus. In their own reality a universe away, the trolls were also shuffled a few steps along the hemospectrum as well, but that's less important from the Kids standpoint.
Jade Strider is basically a conundrum of Nature vs. Nurture - there's a lot that's just who that girl is. An innate sincere and faithful girl who loves her friends so much. You take Dave Strider's upbringing and toss it on top of that, though, and the end result looks a little different. The anger that Jade Harley has to be pushed and pushed and pushed to show has always been there on the surface level. Aggression was encouraged. Wordplay and image were emphasized. Jade Strider is far louder, far more 'in your face', and swears worse than a goddamn sailor.
Though she will still feel very bad about it later if she's upset someone.
Jade Strider, raised in Texas, has red eyes because ASSOCIATION BY BRO = PURE AWESOME. Raised with music and video games and puppets (she doesn't get that the puppets aren't cool). Always wanted a dog and a flower box, tries to raise plants (succeeds as best she can) and tries far too hard to be ironic. Mostly took Dave's place in canon aside from the times where she took Jade's or John's (John, filling her role, has always been awake and died to save her as she was the insomniac who never woke until John was dead). Eridan was her patron troll, she failed at time loops a lot, couldn't handle bro's death, and unlike Dave she pulled the trigger and reached god tier. HASN'T DIED SINCE THEN but also hasn't had a chance to get used to it yet.
Also as far as physical differences Jade lacks the nutrition that Harley has - she hasn't had a well balanced diet of fresh veggies and has instead mostly survived off hot pockets and sugary soda. The puberty fairy has lost her address. She is still very short and slim (from all the exercise on poor nutrition) with choppy short black hair (she cuts it herself) and dresses in baggy clothes. Jade is frequently mistaken for a boy a few years younger than she is.
If OC, Did You Run Your Character Through a Mary-Sue Litmus Test?
And What Did You Score?
Samples ;
Log Sample: In the interest of full disclosure, Jade had never read that stupid book David was going on and on about.
Oh, she'd tried. Strapped on her roller skates and rolled her ass down to the public library and everything. She'd tried skateboarding but never got the balance for it - the roller skates were after encouragement from one of the ladies that Bro brought home. He didn't bring 'em home often after all there was irony and then there was motherfucking tacky, but this mamacita was hot and had it going, into flat track derby, and one of the few people who noticed right away that Jade was a girl. Most of 'em asked about Bro's little brother which she was perfectly fine with too. Anyway, the lady said Jade had a good build for junior derby and should try out. She'd gotten a pair of used roller skates in her size from the thrift store and started practicing, still divided on whether or not she wanted to actually try out for sports in meatspace rather than stick to her virtual world where she could clearly see the points she was racking up. If nothing else, though, it was another way to be mobile.
It was a bitch and a half to find that stupid book, she had to go to two branches to get it unless she wanted to wait for it to be transferred and that shit took for fucking ever. It was especially hard because she had to use the adult computers to try and find it since it wouldn't show up in the kids inventory, and they had to place them on impossibly high shelves and you know some people were short, alright?
Whatever, after an epic adventure of dickery she managed to get the book (full color edition apparently, had to make a mental note to tease David about 'books with pictures') and get herself home in time for dinner. Dinner was a microwave burrito and a can of mountain dew, made all by herself because Bro was a busy man and working late tonight and she was a big girl and could take care of herself. Burrito in hand she'd cracked open the book, read the forward, and got to the first page of the story.
This is not for you.
... So she shrugged, closed the book, and threw Guitar Hero into the Xbox.
The book migrated from the living room to under her computer desk, where it stayed for a good thirty days. She was going to return it by the due time, she really was.
She just had to start up this one game, first, because Lalonde was not shutting up about it.
Some twenty-four hours after that decisions, she stood in her room, shivering from the cold of her frozen world. Land of Frost and Clockwork, iced over factories in a desolate white wasteland. Maybe it was just twenty-four hours, maybe it was more. It had already been the longest day of her short life and it was going to get even longer.
She had died. A hundred times, she had died. Two hundred, three hundred, she stopped counting her own corpses. For every minute of the day, she'd died. How many of her own life would it take to equal just one of her brother's? She'd gone backwards and forwards and stumbled her fucking way through time and kicked in the door and improvised but nothing worked.
He always died, along with Jadesprite, and the bodies just kept building up.
When they said to build to Skaia, they probably didn't mean upon the pile of your own corpse. Corpses.
Jade had just curled up in Bro's bed and stayed there for some time. She didn't know how long. She taken off her iShades and left them on the nightstand. Stupid, irresponsible, probably gonna get them all killed. But she wasn't the only Jade running around anymore, and eventually she was roused from her unconsciousness by a hand shaking her awake. Those close and without her glasses she couldn't make out who it was - a blur of brilliant scarlet and black.
"You gotta get up now, chica." her own voice told her. "Got a job to do. Talk to John, then Eri. Don't bother with Dave right now."
She was gone before Jade grabbed her shades again, but when you got instructions from your future self it seemed prudent to listen to her.
Looped back around to our story already in progress, in media res, never ending fucking feedback loop of bad decisions we find our hero in the middle of. She grabbed a stray cord for something electrical she didn't need anymore, cut it down to turn it into a makeshift strap. From her Sylladex Jade drew her brother's sword, still stained with his own blood. There was a totally ironic My Little Pony charm at the end of it. Jade took the charm off, fastened it to her belt loop and replaced it with one of Jadesprite's feathers attached with the electrical cord. A mess of feathers. All that was left of her.
The instructions were pretty clear. Gather what you can, you may not be back here for some time. Weapons, spare clothes, whatever was useful. While she rummaged through her messy room she found it again.
House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski. Library stamp still inside the front cover.
She'd talked to Dave, despite what her future self had told her. Boy was pretty clearly losing his shit. Maybe the book would give her answers.
She left it under her desk.
Jade Strider wasn't one for instruction manuals, especially not halfway through he stupid game. Winging it was just how she played it.
Network Sample: alright bitches here's how we're playing this crazy ass game of mao
i get that someone else is the motherfucking chairman here
but i'd really like to figure this shit out before i end up with a hand full of cards
so lets lay down some ground rules
i behave and wait my turn and one of you assholes explains shit to me nicely and calmly
until then i'll be listening to my poe album and all y'all can fuck right the fuck off
let's keep it simple and sweet like lemon meringue
i am jade motherfucking strider, the one, the only, the original and best, the godddamn witch of time, the ayatollah of rock and rolla, so come on feel the noise.
[Video feed cuts on then, to a young kid (too young for all those f-bombs) in a baggy shirt and pants, black shades, and a bright red guitar. Two stomps of the kid's foot to get the beat started, and we have ourselves a musical number.]
Your Nickname:
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Under 18?
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Characters Played at Singularity: de nadda, fresh meat.
Character Information ;
Name: Jade (Motherfucking) Strider (Esq.)
Name of Canon: Homestuck
Canon/AU/Other Game CR: AU by way of Red Dead Virgo & Violetesence. It's important to note that the two stories are different but I've taken Jade before the clear diverging of the timeline, so fics from both are still applicable.
Reference: Homestuck, Red Dead Virgo, Violetesence
Canon Point: Just after attaining God Tier
Setting: Homestuck is
And murder.
In the beginning four internet friends decide to play a game together. A good-hearted boy, a girl with magic and a sharp wit, an intelligent boy with eye fixtures, and a final tyke from an exotic land far away. Friends who had never met before.
It starts off fun enough, a SIM-like setting allowing the server player to control the environment of the player, with one real 'goal' being given: Build. So they mess around a bit, play with the controls, deploy some items in hilarious comical scenes that involve hitting boys with toilets, and everything is going gre-
Hey what's with this timer counting down?
Suddenly it's a race against a clock to complete the beginning objectives of attaining a few key items before the timer reaches zero - because when it reaches zero, that's the end. Not of the game. As in, in realtime, meteors nuke that player's area of residence. If they haven't transported their home into the game during that time, it's not a 'game over' that's what you need to worry about. Once the chain is started it must be completed, the Server-Player to Player #1 becoming Player #2 as the one who will be Player #3 becomes their Server Player, and so on until the first in can pull in the last.
Seems like a terrible thing, to trigger what is effectively the end of the world, entirely by accident, thanks to a couple kids playing a game. It's cloudy on whether or not the truth of the matter as later discovered is darker or lighter: the game triggered nothing. The meteors were already coming, the end was already upon their world. Playing the game just showed them how much time they had left, and allowed them a chance to escape. A chance they could only succeed at, because the Alpha Timeline demanded it.
The rules of engagement are incredibly simple and yet overwhelmingly impossible. The world is a chessboard and the players must defeat Black. Black always wins against White. Completing this task and several other crazy 100+ hour minigames yields the greatest victory of all, though: Success means creating a new universe, tailor-made to all that you and your other players desire. Your own paradise for you to inhabit. And, as it turns out, that the universe inhabited by the kids had been created in that manner by aliens from another universe, Trolls. Of course, if they had succeeded in winning the game and gaining their reward, why weren't the Trolls running the show on this side of space?
Welp.
That would be because the kids kinda screw up.
As they are told by an outside force within the game itself, failure is common in this game. Game breaking code exploding blue screen of death failure is uncommon, and they unfortunately worked themselves into a no-win glitched scenario.
Paradox space refuses to be anyone's bitch, so while their universe was technically created by the trolls, it had all at once come into being as if it had always been there, running the kids game parallel to the trolls game, more or less. After defeating the final boss, the Trolls turn to take their reward and walk into their new universe when the final boss from the kids' session arrives - a demon of incredible power - almost slaughtering all of them. They just barely escape, hide in a meteor, and proceed to use their amazingly awesome chat program with temporal-busting ability to ... hunt down the kids and troll the shit out of them through their game and even before it. Within their time of speaking with one another enough space/time fuckery occurs that it would give a Time Lord a headache, and the four kids and twelve Trolls become more or less good friends, orchestrating a plan to hopefully yield success for both of them. The kids need to break down the walls between their two sessions, hard reset their own universe, and with any luck jump back in and avoid making the same mistake twice. Admittedly, breaking down the wall will allow their own unstoppable demon final boss to jump into the Trolls session...
Everything is the cause of everything else, and everything is foreordained. So far, anyway.
Personality: Jade Strider is at her core still Jade Harley. She is just Jade Harley if Jade Harley was raised as Dave Strider was, so while her core self is still Jade, she has a lot of Dave's mannerisms and insecurities (try saying that three times fast).
This has basically turned her into a huge paradox in of herself, so it's no real surprise that paradox space seems unable to get enough of her.
Jade is by her nature incredibly sincere. With all of her heart, she wants to help her friends, to save the world, to win this game and make everything better - to the point that it's hard for her to stomach seeing someone she cares about befall and even minor misfortune. If she could see the future she would absolutely meddle, using the prophecy of the clouds to tell her friends what they need to do to try and get the best possible outcome.
Unfortunately Jade Strider is an insomniac and until Jack blew Prospit up, her dreamself remained very stubbornly asleep.
Instead she has time powers, probably the worst thing for her to have at the beginning. Again, she hates to see her friends hurt, and had an INCREDIBLY SHITTY Time Travel teacher (more on that later). So she sees no problem with jumping back and creating a dead timeline to keep her friends from doing something that would result in harm to them. Her teacher's Time Travel advice began with "Bring a shovel", and only went downhill from there. 'Avoid death' was never part of the lesson, everything was instead focused on taking all the misfortune you could upon yourself.
There's probably a limited number of times you can try to bury your own body before you just become desensitized to the whole thing. Jade hit that number some time ago. She lacks any concept of a fear of personal death now. If she dies, it'll just branch off and the alpha will take over and continue on. No big deal. Her raging inferiority complex sometimes thinks that would be better.
Her relationship with Bro was not one based on one-upmanship. She sincerely looked up to him and wanted to catch up with him to be a 'worthy' sibling and make him proud. Her constant success only on the back of multiple failures makes her wonder if she's worthy to be a Strider, or of her brother's time/memory. "He spent so much time trying to make sure I was ready for this, so how could I be this awful?"
At the same time, most of her crazy/reckless stuff she does is because she'll stop and think to herself, "What would Bro do?" and then do the most crazy, reckless, heroic and badass thing she can. Or at least try.
She also tries very hard to be an ironic cool dude like her Bro. Unfortunately she is far too naturally sincere to ever be good at irony, so this ends up with her telling people that a statement is ironic, or something of the like. She kind of stumbles ass-backwards into any coolkid antics, as she is almost painfully uncool. Circling back to paradoxes, what could be more ironic than a purely sincere person trying their hardest to be insincere? Her attempts at mimicking her brother lead her to put on quite a flirtatious dude front, which result in quite a few inappropriate remarks to people of both sexes. Jade sometimes has an inkling of what she's saying, but most of the time she's just parroting. A flirty kinda pervy front hiding the fact that she honestly has no idea how sex works or what the exact differences between boys and girls are. Her parroting is done to well, she ducked ever getting The Talk since it looked like she already knew all this.
She has unlimited unwavering faith, you see, and doesn't need to understand the shit Bro says to believe his cool is unparalleled. Fronting aside, her faith and naivety lead Jade to be an incredibly trusting person. Oh, she got the stranger danger lessons, she just either ignored them or didn't understand them, and was lucky enough to avoid learning any of that the hard way (thus far).
Part of that lack of understanding is that her observational skills are not the best. Pair that with an extremely impulsive streak and you've got a tiny reckless ball of energy. Halfway through listening to instructions she'll get an idea of something fun to do and run off to do just that, completely missing the later clarification that such things are not allowed or permitted. She prefers to learn the rules by actually playing the game rather than reading any kind of guide or rulebook, especially since plans are so apt to falling apart at the worst possible time. Better to have your plan be "Kick in the door and improvise". It's very simple, has two steps, and never fails. In that sense she's also a rather unrepentant rule breaker. If the rules were so important, they should be iron-clad an unbreakable.
It should be obvious by now why Jade is so well-acquainted with failure of the corpse-producing kind.
Abilities, Weaknesses, and Power Limitation Suggestions: Much like irony, while Jade has time-based powers she is unfortunately NOT VERY GOOD AT IT. When it comes to games, Jade is a completionist. Get the cheat guide, find all of the things. All of them. It's far too tempting, then, to have the ability to go back in time and 'redo' something you might have missed, to get a perfect score where none of her friends have to ever get hurt.
As you can imagine, these are a lot of unstable loops, and a lot of broken timelines. Instead of a telephone pole with one or two offshoots that dead-end, the timeline tree looks more like a gnarled dead thing you'd expect to be placed next to some well where some watery chick will crawl out of muttering "SEVEN DAYS".
Physical Abilities - WEAPONS Jade holds quite a few strife cards thanks to her brother's influence. Riflekind and pistolkind have been combined to just make gunkind (gotta save some space in that deck), which is hands down no holds barred her best specialty. Jade's just good with bullets, a natural gunbunny and crackerjack shot. She also has bladekind, owing to Bro's influence as you don't grow up in the Strider household for thirteen years without being at least Level 1 Crazy Competent With A Sword. She's still not as good as Dave is, but she is above average. While she has what may as well be a gymbag full of guns, though, she's only got the one sword. Her brother's, pulled out of his body before she buried him as best she could, and she's only intending to use it on one enemy. The third and perhaps strangest weapon: shovelkind. Her time travel instructor had told her "Bring a shovel" so Jade was in the habit of carrying one, and sometimes when you're out in the field, you don't have time to negotiate a hash map and switch weapons, and it's just easier to swing away with what you have on hand. Needless to say it is about as graceful as fighting with a shovel is.
Magical Abilities - WITCH OF TIME While Dave avoided attaining God Levels, Jade jumped at them and reached them. That means she is basically, well. God Level Time Powers, with the ability to do Basically Whatever She Wants. Needless to say this is gonna have to get nerf'd pretty severely. Considering she's still very new to it she probably won't notice most of them missing, so they'll be listed as their nerf'd form.
- Fastforward/Rewind Limited jumping ability back and forth with a maximum of ten minutes in either direction.
- Echo Clones Working the rewind right she can create a mob of copies of herself by jumping back and forth along the timeline. Unfortunately, one stab in the right spot and destroy the whole chain's worth, and with a ten minute limiter it's gonna be MUCH trickier to manage this, but Jade is nothing if not persistent.
- Metronome A variant on Fastforward/Rewind, Jade can adjust her internal time and the internal time of others, making her up to twice as fast or others up to twice as slow. Or hell the other way around if she feels tricky. Because of the focus required for this, she can get burned out pretty quick on it, and can't use any other time powers at the same time. It's easier for her to adjust herself than to adjust others, too.
- Internal Clock Basically Jade's got a spot-on sense of time. Unfortunately this doesn't necessarily mean she's punctual in any way shape or form, she's just always acutely aware when she's late and has no excuse of losing track of time. It does lend itself to an excellent sense of rhythm, however.
Inventory: Here.
Appearance: Jade Strider is a very very late bloomer. Because proper nutrition is for babies and the Puberty Fairy seems to have lost her address, Jade is not just slim but short as well, frequently lending to her being mistaken for a boy of a year or two younger in age. It doesn't help that her posture tends to be on the slouching side, hands shoved in her pockets and steadfastly ignoring the world in favor of grooving to giant-ass headphones.
Like canon Jade her hair is black, though Jade Strider keeps hers short and a bit on the shaggy side as she tends to cut it herself. Her skin is actually pretty tanned thanks to the Texas sun, and she freckles very easily. Taking Dave's place in this universe, her eyes are deep red in color, though she usually keeps them covered by her prescription glasses, which tint into shades.
Age: 13
OC/AU Justification ;
If AU, How is Your Version Different From Canon, and How Will That Come Across?Instead of John Egbert aiming those meteors to start them on their way, it was Rose Egbert. And her aim was not as great as John's. Rose got things a little mixed up, so while Dave and John are both partially related to their guardians even if they went to the 'wrong' ones, Rose and Jade went completely to the wrong places. Rose went to Mr. Dad Egbert, and Jade got sent to Strider Haus. In their own reality a universe away, the trolls were also shuffled a few steps along the hemospectrum as well, but that's less important from the Kids standpoint.
Jade Strider is basically a conundrum of Nature vs. Nurture - there's a lot that's just who that girl is. An innate sincere and faithful girl who loves her friends so much. You take Dave Strider's upbringing and toss it on top of that, though, and the end result looks a little different. The anger that Jade Harley has to be pushed and pushed and pushed to show has always been there on the surface level. Aggression was encouraged. Wordplay and image were emphasized. Jade Strider is far louder, far more 'in your face', and swears worse than a goddamn sailor.
Though she will still feel very bad about it later if she's upset someone.
Jade Strider, raised in Texas, has red eyes because ASSOCIATION BY BRO = PURE AWESOME. Raised with music and video games and puppets (she doesn't get that the puppets aren't cool). Always wanted a dog and a flower box, tries to raise plants (succeeds as best she can) and tries far too hard to be ironic. Mostly took Dave's place in canon aside from the times where she took Jade's or John's (John, filling her role, has always been awake and died to save her as she was the insomniac who never woke until John was dead). Eridan was her patron troll, she failed at time loops a lot, couldn't handle bro's death, and unlike Dave she pulled the trigger and reached god tier. HASN'T DIED SINCE THEN but also hasn't had a chance to get used to it yet.
Also as far as physical differences Jade lacks the nutrition that Harley has - she hasn't had a well balanced diet of fresh veggies and has instead mostly survived off hot pockets and sugary soda. The puberty fairy has lost her address. She is still very short and slim (from all the exercise on poor nutrition) with choppy short black hair (she cuts it herself) and dresses in baggy clothes. Jade is frequently mistaken for a boy a few years younger than she is.
If OC, Did You Run Your Character Through a Mary-Sue Litmus Test?
And What Did You Score?
Samples ;
Log Sample: In the interest of full disclosure, Jade had never read that stupid book David was going on and on about.
Oh, she'd tried. Strapped on her roller skates and rolled her ass down to the public library and everything. She'd tried skateboarding but never got the balance for it - the roller skates were after encouragement from one of the ladies that Bro brought home. He didn't bring 'em home often after all there was irony and then there was motherfucking tacky, but this mamacita was hot and had it going, into flat track derby, and one of the few people who noticed right away that Jade was a girl. Most of 'em asked about Bro's little brother which she was perfectly fine with too. Anyway, the lady said Jade had a good build for junior derby and should try out. She'd gotten a pair of used roller skates in her size from the thrift store and started practicing, still divided on whether or not she wanted to actually try out for sports in meatspace rather than stick to her virtual world where she could clearly see the points she was racking up. If nothing else, though, it was another way to be mobile.
It was a bitch and a half to find that stupid book, she had to go to two branches to get it unless she wanted to wait for it to be transferred and that shit took for fucking ever. It was especially hard because she had to use the adult computers to try and find it since it wouldn't show up in the kids inventory, and they had to place them on impossibly high shelves and you know some people were short, alright?
Whatever, after an epic adventure of dickery she managed to get the book (full color edition apparently, had to make a mental note to tease David about 'books with pictures') and get herself home in time for dinner. Dinner was a microwave burrito and a can of mountain dew, made all by herself because Bro was a busy man and working late tonight and she was a big girl and could take care of herself. Burrito in hand she'd cracked open the book, read the forward, and got to the first page of the story.
... So she shrugged, closed the book, and threw Guitar Hero into the Xbox.
The book migrated from the living room to under her computer desk, where it stayed for a good thirty days. She was going to return it by the due time, she really was.
She just had to start up this one game, first, because Lalonde was not shutting up about it.
Some twenty-four hours after that decisions, she stood in her room, shivering from the cold of her frozen world. Land of Frost and Clockwork, iced over factories in a desolate white wasteland. Maybe it was just twenty-four hours, maybe it was more. It had already been the longest day of her short life and it was going to get even longer.
She had died. A hundred times, she had died. Two hundred, three hundred, she stopped counting her own corpses. For every minute of the day, she'd died. How many of her own life would it take to equal just one of her brother's? She'd gone backwards and forwards and stumbled her fucking way through time and kicked in the door and improvised but nothing worked.
He always died, along with Jadesprite, and the bodies just kept building up.
When they said to build to Skaia, they probably didn't mean upon the pile of your own corpse. Corpses.
Jade had just curled up in Bro's bed and stayed there for some time. She didn't know how long. She taken off her iShades and left them on the nightstand. Stupid, irresponsible, probably gonna get them all killed. But she wasn't the only Jade running around anymore, and eventually she was roused from her unconsciousness by a hand shaking her awake. Those close and without her glasses she couldn't make out who it was - a blur of brilliant scarlet and black.
"You gotta get up now, chica." her own voice told her. "Got a job to do. Talk to John, then Eri. Don't bother with Dave right now."
She was gone before Jade grabbed her shades again, but when you got instructions from your future self it seemed prudent to listen to her.
Looped back around to our story already in progress, in media res, never ending fucking feedback loop of bad decisions we find our hero in the middle of. She grabbed a stray cord for something electrical she didn't need anymore, cut it down to turn it into a makeshift strap. From her Sylladex Jade drew her brother's sword, still stained with his own blood. There was a totally ironic My Little Pony charm at the end of it. Jade took the charm off, fastened it to her belt loop and replaced it with one of Jadesprite's feathers attached with the electrical cord. A mess of feathers. All that was left of her.
The instructions were pretty clear. Gather what you can, you may not be back here for some time. Weapons, spare clothes, whatever was useful. While she rummaged through her messy room she found it again.
House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski. Library stamp still inside the front cover.
She'd talked to Dave, despite what her future self had told her. Boy was pretty clearly losing his shit. Maybe the book would give her answers.
She left it under her desk.
Jade Strider wasn't one for instruction manuals, especially not halfway through he stupid game. Winging it was just how she played it.
Network Sample: alright bitches here's how we're playing this crazy ass game of mao
i get that someone else is the motherfucking chairman here
but i'd really like to figure this shit out before i end up with a hand full of cards
so lets lay down some ground rules
i behave and wait my turn and one of you assholes explains shit to me nicely and calmly
until then i'll be listening to my poe album and all y'all can fuck right the fuck off
let's keep it simple and sweet like lemon meringue
i am jade motherfucking strider, the one, the only, the original and best, the godddamn witch of time, the ayatollah of rock and rolla, so come on feel the noise.
[Video feed cuts on then, to a young kid (too young for all those f-bombs) in a baggy shirt and pants, black shades, and a bright red guitar. Two stomps of the kid's foot to get the beat started, and we have ourselves a musical number.]
